I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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