Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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