Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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