If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
