I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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