thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
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Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
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I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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