yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
