Acid is not a monday night drug
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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