No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
