At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Randomize
