I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
