It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
