Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
