he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
