you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's blow job season.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
