the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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