yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
