I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
