I want to make a zoo with you.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think my moral compass just broke
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