YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
