Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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