Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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