You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Someone shit on the floor
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
