my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
