That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
