so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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