When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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