Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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