for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
God, I missed his penis.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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