We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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