am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
