just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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