hotel room ftw
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
sex in a hospital.. check
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
