we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
