he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
