I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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