We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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