Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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