SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
