how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake