Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.