i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?