Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered