shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
