i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
