Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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