I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
