So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
