I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
