It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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