a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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