Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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