She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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