Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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