Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
