Even the bartender felt bad for me
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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