My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize