Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
