I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
