Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
