Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
