I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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