I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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