whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
