Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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