the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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