I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
