Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
kristin has been a bad kristin
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
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